Broken: The Cry of a Suffering Bi-Polar's Pain

Broken.
Aching.
Longing.
Sorrow.

I want to just sleep... Sleep so peacefully, so silently, where no demon nor angel can disturb me.
But when I lay me down to sleep, I am the one who's soul I keep.
Taunting, teasing, endless hate.
My dreams are like strings, around my wrists and throat, tossing and turning me like a ragdoll.
Hellfire in my head.
With a gasp I awake, only to remember the real nightmare.

Broken.
Hurting.
Panic.
Fear.

This broken heart screams for release, but is only dragged deeper down, swallowed by the midnight pit's blackened bile and bloody grin.
This broken spirit needs some comfort, but is only strung up by it's own ambition, the hyperactive high strangling it and shaking hands force the eyelids open.
I bid them to go, to let me alone... But the whip only can keep them at bay until my arm tires from keeping them at bay.

Broken.
Sobbing.
Pleading.
Loving.

My love shatters the walls of my heart, cracks ripping down and sorrow released.
I need you, I need you, I need you.
I want to vomit up these putrid agonies so that I may care for you alone without worry.
I curse the heaven's name, drowning in these tears for us all.
I shake my fist at the skies, the last thing to go under as I sink to the bottom...

Broken heart.
I crawl, exhausted upon the weeping banks, one weary hand upon the shattered soul I keep.
My clawed hands and agonized wails are heard only by those who can not help me.

I hurt them with my pleading.

I break their heart too.